Golfers Edge

How should I handle this situation?

Friday, April 23rd, 2010 at 5:16 pm

I’m hoping that you can help me.
I’ve been married to the same man for 21 years, and we have 2 beautiful sons, now in their late teens.
Throughout our marriage, my husband has provided well for us, with a nice house, savings, and education for the kids. I worked from home for a number of years when our kids were small, and was always ‘there’ for them. I carry my weight financially, but I simply don’t earn the money that he does – never will.
My husband is (and always has been) an avid golfer and fitness buff. He’s in great shape, works out a lot, and golfs a lot. By ‘a lot’, I mean that he’s either got a game or a workout on Sunday morning, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and sometimes Friday night, till about 8:30/9:00 – year round.
He goes on golf-weeks with his friends once or twice a year, and tries whenever possible to arrange our family vacation around his golfing. He will also schedule 2-3 golf weekends with his friends.
Needless to say, I’m not a fan of golfing.
As the kids are getting increasingly independent, I’m left alone for much of the time, and I don’t like it. I raised the issue with him and his response was “well we need to do more stuff together”, and “you have no idea how many golf tournaments that I’ve declined, so that I could stay home and be with you and the kids”.
I’m wrestling with these questions, that I’d really appreciate your perspective and help with:
1.Am I right to be annoyed that he’s never around?
2.What should I do about this situation?
3.With the kids likely leaving the house in a year or so, I’m horrified at the thought of being an ‘empty-nester’ without any activities to do, or anything in common with my husband
Help!

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